Well hello there. How’s everybody doing?

There is a lot going on. Still, there is a sense of relief. You know the one.

So during this momentary lull (not that it is, really, any sort of a lull, just comparatively) let me complain for a moment about some language issues. I find that I am constantly editing in my head, when reading, even when people on the news on television are talking. You know the broken windows theory  —  about how if you keep neighborhoods tidy, crime goes down, but if the place looks bad (broken windows, etc.) then it’s an express train to disaster. I feel language operates in the same way. Use pizza as a verb and before you know it, you are in hell.

First of all, not all news needs to be “breaking.” I get that the news cycle in the Trump era has been accelerated, but let’s give some thought to the fact that “news” is already a right-now declaration and reserve “breaking” for something that is really really on the cusp of right-now. “Uptick” has to stop, especially when it refers to massive increases in numbers and not tiny incremental bits. And do not get me started on “reach out.” The word is “contact” nine times out of ten. And could we get through one interview on cable without hearing the phrase “at the end of the day”? I think I prefer “This is how you pizza.” I mean, as objectionable as using “pizza” as a verb is, I suppose it’s a little inventive. However, “family” is not a verb and using it as such is not inventive.

I think people are really going off the rails. I submit as evidence a newish feature in the New York Times called “How To Pretend You’re In [name of city] Tonight” like “How to Pretend You’re In Paris Tonight” (Paris being, of course, the ultimate in pretend travel). The most recent installment is “How to Pretend You’re In Tunis”… which is fine since I’m probably never going to Tunisia.

It’s fair to say I was ahead of the curve on pretend travel, as I would sometimes (even pre-pandemic) interiorly declare a day a theme day and try to recreate meals from, say, Portland or Boston. And I will admit that sometimes I have just picked spots on the globe at random and walked around the town via Google Street View. Did you know there is Google Street View from Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia? It’s true. (I highly doubt the Times is going to be featuring Ulaanbaatar as a pretend destination, judging from the grim view of it on Google.) 

My latest in pretend travel is picking out Air BnB’s in Møre og Romsdal, Norway (where there is some Street View), fjord country. I think I landed on this area through some circuitous route having to do with mittens. Was I subconsciously inspired by Bernie’s Inaugural mittens? Maybe.

Where have you all been pretend travelling? (Well at least I hope you have descended into helpless giggling by now while you are asking yourself, How did we get here, again?)

I did actually travel to Stoughton and Janesville yesterday. Judy and I were heading to Janesville to have a tour of a printing plant in preparation for someday returning Isthmus to print, but we elected to take separate cars, because, COVID. I drove down Highway 51 to Stoughton and stopped at Spry Whimsy Fiber Arts, a yarn shop (I’d never been in before) in Stoughton. I left with three balls of Norwegian yarn and a mitten pattern. It’s worth a visit if you are in the market for yarn, or something felted (they have a little felted area, really nice if felting is your thing) or just want to get out and do something. Masks are required, the store is spacious, and I’m guessing you are likely to be the only customer. Though the proprietor, Ingrid, told me that the pandemic has really been good for knitting, and that I could join in their virtual knitting circle via Zoom on Wednesday nights. I have gone on a pretend trip to Paris but I am not sure I’m ready for a virtual knitting circle. My yarn is pictured below along with the pattern.

I will end with the takeout report. We got burritos at Habanero’s near our house on Inauguration Day. I told the guy behind the counter we were calling them “Inauguritos.” He was not amused.